Adam Sandler’s portrayal of workaholic, Michael Newman, in the 2006 movie Click was funny until the real message clicked in (pardon the pun). After receiving the gift of a special remote control that allowed him to fast forward and rewind through different parts of his life, Sandler’s character did what a lot of us do without a remote. He developed a series of automatic responses. It seemed like a no brainer. When you don’t want to deal with something or someone just - click!
In a recent discussion, I expressed my concern over the tendency many have of responding to unwanted, uncomfortable, or painful experiences with knee jerk reactions that reject any possibility that good may be contained within it. As Christians who are being “conformed into the image of God’s Son” we are to be led by the Spirit of God (Romans 8:14). However, if we find ourselves reacting to the unpleasant aspects of our life with automatic responses, then there is a chance that we may be automatically rejecting the leading of the Holy Spirit without recognizing it.
Let me be clear. Not all automatic responses are to be avoided. In fact, we can develop some habitual reactions that are beneficial. For example, when we feel anxious we can choose to bring our concerns immediately to God in prayer with a thankful heart. The result of this swift reaction to anxiety, God’s Word promises, will yield incomprehensible peace standing guard like a garrison over our hearts and minds (Philippians 4:6-7). In turn, this peace increases the likelihood that we will hear the Spirit’s leading through times of distress. On the other hand, if we tend to react to life’s discomforts with worry and fretful imaginings, the result then is quite another story.
If we’re honest, we have to admit that when we only engage in things that we are comfortable with, not only are we resisting God’s desire to conform us into His Son’s image, but we also have no need for the Spirit’s direction and empowerment. As I consider my own automatic responses I whisper a prayer that all of God’s children will reflect upon areas in our lives where we fail to open our hearts to the Holy Spirit’s direction. There is no question that the last thing I want to do is click through life following my own way only to discover that I missed real life with God altogether.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Conquering New Heights
Her words captured my imagination. She couldn’t be more than 5’4” and I’d guess no more than 110 pounds soaking wet. Her name is Susan Ershler. As she talked about how she accomplished her personal goal of climbing all seven of the highest summits in the world with her husband, my sense of adventure was stirred. Can you imagine the sense of victory she must have felt, as she looked out at the vista view from the highest place on the planet? As the fourth American woman to climb the seven highest mountains, she had to conquer the physical, environmental and emotional challenges. What an accomplishment!
It’s January and as usual, I have seven summits of my own I want to conquer. I am determined to CONQUER New Heights in my personal life this year. As I share my strategy for 2011, think about what yours will be.
C – Change from knowing more scripture, to living out more consistently the scriptures I know. Maybe this way, when I interact with someone that doesn’t know the bible, they’ll get a chance to see it in action. (II Corinthians 2:2-3)
O – Own my own vessel. Too much focus on negative experiences and current events can cause overwhelming stress. At times like these I’ll need to remember that God is in control and to possess my soul in the patience His Spirit causes to flow through me as I rest in Him. (Luke 21:19)
N – Never stop praying. I’m clear on the fact that no matter how much I know, God knows more. There is never a time I won’t need His counsel. (I Thessalonians 5:17)
Q – Quiet my spirit. I used to believe that I should never talk about the things that bother me. Now I understand that when I take authority over my disquieted spirit, I am acquiring a quality that God considers priceless. (I Peter 3:4)
U – Upgrade my gifts and talents. I already know that if I don’t use them, there will be weeping and gnashing. But, I also need to be open to the Holy Spirit’s leading when He wants to use my gifts in new and different ways. (Matthew 25:14-28)
E – Eliminate regularly. Just as my body eliminates toxins regularly (i.e. carbon dioxide from my lungs, waste from my kidneys and bowels), I need to rid myself of the things that make my walk with Christ toxic. (Colossians 3:8-10)
R – Reflect His glory as I redeem the time. I can’t allow myself to forget that like the star that led the three wise men to the Christ child, I’m a star on a mission. God has placed His light in me to lead others to Him. (II Corinthians 3:18)
As I walk into this New Year filled with opportunities I am reminded of Isaiah 43:18-19 where the Lord had Isaiah to prophesy that He was going to do a new thing. New means new! New speaks of that which is unfamiliar, unused, unprecedented and original. Consequently, I can expect that some of the things I will face this year will be both adventurous and risky.
As Susan Ershler talked about her climb up Mount Everest, she spoke of how they couldn’t simply go from the bottom of the mountain straight to the top. For one thing, the weather could change quickly. More than one climber has had to turn around and head back to camp with the summit only minutes away. For another thing, the air at the mountain’s peak was so thin, that they had to make the journey by going up to a designated camp and then back down the mountain for days at a time to give their lungs a chance to become accustomed to the difference in the amount of oxygen at that height. When I heard it, my perspective of how to view three steps forward, two steps back was forever changed. Instead of seeing my efforts as being hindered, I’ll consider that I’ve reached a higher elevation that requires an adjustment in my faith capacity.
2011 marks two milestones for my life. Since 1991 I have been blessed with the opportunity to be used of God to encourage, challenge, and inspire those who struggle. Whether the struggle was with drug abuse, promiscuity, depression, or discouragement for 20 years I've seen God demonstrate His love to those I encounter. Since 2001 I have been blessed with the opportunity to be used of God to encourage, challenge, and inspire aspiring Christian writers. For 10 years I've been instrumental in assisting them as they go from manuscript to marketplace sharing their messages of hope, instruction, and insight.
As I rejoice in these wonderful blessings I find that there is a stirring in my heart to go higher in my relationship with God. I long to see His hand move more effectively through me.
What about you? What are the seven summits in your life that you want to conquer this year? In 2010 did you feel like you were going three steps forward, two steps back? If so, don’t worry, you were just getting your lungs ready to handle the change that’s coming. Sure, there may be storms brewing. Yes, the air is thin up there. But look up. The mountain top isn’t that far away. Stay focused on your goals. Before you know it you’ll be a testament to all those who long to start the journey. May the Lord guide you on your journey as you conquer new heights.
It’s January and as usual, I have seven summits of my own I want to conquer. I am determined to CONQUER New Heights in my personal life this year. As I share my strategy for 2011, think about what yours will be.
C – Change from knowing more scripture, to living out more consistently the scriptures I know. Maybe this way, when I interact with someone that doesn’t know the bible, they’ll get a chance to see it in action. (II Corinthians 2:2-3)
O – Own my own vessel. Too much focus on negative experiences and current events can cause overwhelming stress. At times like these I’ll need to remember that God is in control and to possess my soul in the patience His Spirit causes to flow through me as I rest in Him. (Luke 21:19)
N – Never stop praying. I’m clear on the fact that no matter how much I know, God knows more. There is never a time I won’t need His counsel. (I Thessalonians 5:17)
Q – Quiet my spirit. I used to believe that I should never talk about the things that bother me. Now I understand that when I take authority over my disquieted spirit, I am acquiring a quality that God considers priceless. (I Peter 3:4)
U – Upgrade my gifts and talents. I already know that if I don’t use them, there will be weeping and gnashing. But, I also need to be open to the Holy Spirit’s leading when He wants to use my gifts in new and different ways. (Matthew 25:14-28)
E – Eliminate regularly. Just as my body eliminates toxins regularly (i.e. carbon dioxide from my lungs, waste from my kidneys and bowels), I need to rid myself of the things that make my walk with Christ toxic. (Colossians 3:8-10)
R – Reflect His glory as I redeem the time. I can’t allow myself to forget that like the star that led the three wise men to the Christ child, I’m a star on a mission. God has placed His light in me to lead others to Him. (II Corinthians 3:18)
As I walk into this New Year filled with opportunities I am reminded of Isaiah 43:18-19 where the Lord had Isaiah to prophesy that He was going to do a new thing. New means new! New speaks of that which is unfamiliar, unused, unprecedented and original. Consequently, I can expect that some of the things I will face this year will be both adventurous and risky.
As Susan Ershler talked about her climb up Mount Everest, she spoke of how they couldn’t simply go from the bottom of the mountain straight to the top. For one thing, the weather could change quickly. More than one climber has had to turn around and head back to camp with the summit only minutes away. For another thing, the air at the mountain’s peak was so thin, that they had to make the journey by going up to a designated camp and then back down the mountain for days at a time to give their lungs a chance to become accustomed to the difference in the amount of oxygen at that height. When I heard it, my perspective of how to view three steps forward, two steps back was forever changed. Instead of seeing my efforts as being hindered, I’ll consider that I’ve reached a higher elevation that requires an adjustment in my faith capacity.
2011 marks two milestones for my life. Since 1991 I have been blessed with the opportunity to be used of God to encourage, challenge, and inspire those who struggle. Whether the struggle was with drug abuse, promiscuity, depression, or discouragement for 20 years I've seen God demonstrate His love to those I encounter. Since 2001 I have been blessed with the opportunity to be used of God to encourage, challenge, and inspire aspiring Christian writers. For 10 years I've been instrumental in assisting them as they go from manuscript to marketplace sharing their messages of hope, instruction, and insight.
As I rejoice in these wonderful blessings I find that there is a stirring in my heart to go higher in my relationship with God. I long to see His hand move more effectively through me.
What about you? What are the seven summits in your life that you want to conquer this year? In 2010 did you feel like you were going three steps forward, two steps back? If so, don’t worry, you were just getting your lungs ready to handle the change that’s coming. Sure, there may be storms brewing. Yes, the air is thin up there. But look up. The mountain top isn’t that far away. Stay focused on your goals. Before you know it you’ll be a testament to all those who long to start the journey. May the Lord guide you on your journey as you conquer new heights.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Can You Stand the Pressure?
I remember talking with someone about the difficulties they were having in their relationship with someone else. They were fed up; exhausted. As they continued to talk it became clear that they couldn't see themselves working with another Christian brother one more day. At the end of their comments they looked at me seemingly for confirmation that they were justified in their conclusion. Yet, the Holy Spirit caused me to see that if they were to accomplish the things that God had ordained for them to accomplish, they would have to be able to withstand much more pressure than they were currently facing.
With as much love as I could muster I told them, "You know God has a lot for you to do and you're not even half way through your journey. Much of what He has for you to do will take much more strength than this. On a scale of 1 to 10, the trouble you're describing is a 4. If you can't handle a 4, how on earth are you going to be able to handle anything higher?"
Years later they would tell me that my comments made them angry, but it helped them to recognize that they had somehow failed to realize that God was using the pressure of that situation to test the determination and resolve of their faith. Today, as I consider what I shared with that person back then, I'm reminded that just three weeks ago I too was struggling with trouble that was a mere 3 or 4 on a scale of 1 - 10. So now I'm asking myself, "Am I strong enough to withstand the pressure?"
Like a heavy-weight boxer whose been hit punch after punch, blow after blow, some of us feel like our legs are weak, our eyes are swollen shut and we're staggering trying with all our might to stay standing until we hear the bell signaling the end of this round. Maybe then we can take a rest in the corner, drink some water, compose ourselves, hear some words of encouragement that will spur us on to swing back in the next round. It's at times like these that some of us may be asking ourselves, "Am I really strong enough to withstand the pressure?"
Naturally my answer is an emphatic, "YES!" What about you? Are you determined to overcome the adversity you may be facing? Chime in and let me know your thoughts.
With as much love as I could muster I told them, "You know God has a lot for you to do and you're not even half way through your journey. Much of what He has for you to do will take much more strength than this. On a scale of 1 to 10, the trouble you're describing is a 4. If you can't handle a 4, how on earth are you going to be able to handle anything higher?"
Years later they would tell me that my comments made them angry, but it helped them to recognize that they had somehow failed to realize that God was using the pressure of that situation to test the determination and resolve of their faith. Today, as I consider what I shared with that person back then, I'm reminded that just three weeks ago I too was struggling with trouble that was a mere 3 or 4 on a scale of 1 - 10. So now I'm asking myself, "Am I strong enough to withstand the pressure?"
Like a heavy-weight boxer whose been hit punch after punch, blow after blow, some of us feel like our legs are weak, our eyes are swollen shut and we're staggering trying with all our might to stay standing until we hear the bell signaling the end of this round. Maybe then we can take a rest in the corner, drink some water, compose ourselves, hear some words of encouragement that will spur us on to swing back in the next round. It's at times like these that some of us may be asking ourselves, "Am I really strong enough to withstand the pressure?"
Naturally my answer is an emphatic, "YES!" What about you? Are you determined to overcome the adversity you may be facing? Chime in and let me know your thoughts.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Vashti Syndrome: When Fear of Abandonment Runs Deep
Fear of abandonment runs deep in many women. That fear is not outside of reason. Women’s anxiety about abandonment is fed by the divorce statistics, which confirm many a man’s tendency to treat his marriage like it is a disposable diaper (though by far men aren't the only ones doing this). The scripture even records such a case in point. As we read Esther chapter one we learn about the plight of queen Vashti. This woman suffered something wives have dreaded for centuries – exile from relationship. Her husband, King Ahasuerus, prepared a feast for all the nobles of the Persian Empire. This feast was so grand that he instructed his servants to “give every man his desire.” This indulgence went on for 180 days. On the seventh day the king in typical male style began bragging about the beauty of his wife. To prove his point he sent his servants after her with instructions for her to return “in the crown royal” so his drunken noble guests could gaze at her.
To his dismay, Vashti refused to come. Scripture does not record her reasoning but most wives would agree that to display your beauty before a group of men you know have been drinking and indulging themselves for seven days, is not a safe place for a beautiful female. When she stood up for herself, against the foolish request of her husband, in anger he exiled and eventually replaced her.
Often as ministers have taught from this text, the focus is placed on how a wife takes a risk when she does not do as her husband asks. Therefore, she should obey her husband. Very few have given attention to the reality that it is unreasonable to expect a wife to display herself before a bunch of drunken men.
Unfortunately, Vashti’s plight is a harsh reality. When wives’ responses cause their husbands great disappointment, many husbands abandon the marriage and replace their wives with someone else they believe will be more accommodating. It is this sad fact that is at the heart of many a wife’s choice to enable her husband’s sinful behavior. What if he is displeased to the point where he divorces me? What if he decides that he will have an affair behind my back? The “what-ifs” produce a Merry-Go-Round within a Merry-Go-Round.
In chapter 2, of my book, Dear God, Please Get Me Off This Merry-Go-Round and Show Me How to Respect an Irresponsible Man, I mentioned the need for wives to maintain personal integrity when their husbands choose to compromise or disobey God's truth. I cannot emphasize enough how vital it is that you keep your life chaste. Do not allow yourself to be deceived. Following your husband’s lead when he is being disobedient to the Lord will not be acceptable to God. Even when we are threatened we need to remember that, it is written that we ought to obey God rather than man (Acts 5:28-29). A believer’s first responsibility is to love God and as a result of that love, obey His Word. When obeying the scripture we must make certain we are looking at God’s Word in context. To say that a woman is obeying God’s Word by appeasing her husband, when he is committing obvious sin, is to take God’s command completely out of context. Though He says, “a wife is concerned about how to please her husband,” He has also said that if your husband does not “obey the word” you may be able to “win him” by your “conversation” or manner of living (I Peter 3:1-4). That manner of living is clearly described as being chaste.
The Greek word interpreted chaste from I Peter 3:4 is the word hagnos which means innocent, clean, and pure. I am sure you agree that there is nothing chaste about lying. Remember, the Holy Spirit can use a wife’s innocent, clean, and pure behavior to create the kind of contrast that will draw attention to areas where her husband’s integrity is lacking. But, if you're more afraid of your husband than God, I want to challenge you to recognize that you're fearing the wrong one!
If you are afraid to stand up to your husband because he may leave you, prepare yourself for inner and outer struggle. As frightening as it may seem, place your husband on the altar of sacrifice. (NO!! I don’t mean kill him. I mean turn your concerns over to the Lord.) Ask the Lord to grant you the courage to stand firm in your convictions. This does not mean that you have to be obstinate. It simply means that you will not be unwise and succumb to intimidating tactics. Choose instead to trust God with the outcome.
Heretofore you may have fumed over how much you are expected to “be a saint” while your mate stubbornly acts like he ain’t. The unmet yearnings in your soul may cause you to wonder, “When is it going to be my turn!” Pain and loss also shout their cries for relief, at any cost. But, don’t let any of those things deter you. Don’t back down. Don’t give in. Stand firm in the conviction of your faith in God. After you have done all you know to do in your standing, continue, despite how bad things look, to stand in the righteousness of your faith in Christ. Understand that you are not to act like a virtuous woman. You need to be a virtuous woman.
Next post, Will the REAL Virtuous Woman Please Stand Up!
Serving You with God's love and mine,
Christina Dixon
Author of How to Respect an Irresponsible Man!
Copyright © 2001, 2004 Christina Dixon. All rights reserved worldwide. Excerpt from How to Respect an Irresponsible Man. Used by permission.
To his dismay, Vashti refused to come. Scripture does not record her reasoning but most wives would agree that to display your beauty before a group of men you know have been drinking and indulging themselves for seven days, is not a safe place for a beautiful female. When she stood up for herself, against the foolish request of her husband, in anger he exiled and eventually replaced her.
Often as ministers have taught from this text, the focus is placed on how a wife takes a risk when she does not do as her husband asks. Therefore, she should obey her husband. Very few have given attention to the reality that it is unreasonable to expect a wife to display herself before a bunch of drunken men.
Unfortunately, Vashti’s plight is a harsh reality. When wives’ responses cause their husbands great disappointment, many husbands abandon the marriage and replace their wives with someone else they believe will be more accommodating. It is this sad fact that is at the heart of many a wife’s choice to enable her husband’s sinful behavior. What if he is displeased to the point where he divorces me? What if he decides that he will have an affair behind my back? The “what-ifs” produce a Merry-Go-Round within a Merry-Go-Round.
In chapter 2, of my book, Dear God, Please Get Me Off This Merry-Go-Round and Show Me How to Respect an Irresponsible Man, I mentioned the need for wives to maintain personal integrity when their husbands choose to compromise or disobey God's truth. I cannot emphasize enough how vital it is that you keep your life chaste. Do not allow yourself to be deceived. Following your husband’s lead when he is being disobedient to the Lord will not be acceptable to God. Even when we are threatened we need to remember that, it is written that we ought to obey God rather than man (Acts 5:28-29). A believer’s first responsibility is to love God and as a result of that love, obey His Word. When obeying the scripture we must make certain we are looking at God’s Word in context. To say that a woman is obeying God’s Word by appeasing her husband, when he is committing obvious sin, is to take God’s command completely out of context. Though He says, “a wife is concerned about how to please her husband,” He has also said that if your husband does not “obey the word” you may be able to “win him” by your “conversation” or manner of living (I Peter 3:1-4). That manner of living is clearly described as being chaste.
The Greek word interpreted chaste from I Peter 3:4 is the word hagnos which means innocent, clean, and pure. I am sure you agree that there is nothing chaste about lying. Remember, the Holy Spirit can use a wife’s innocent, clean, and pure behavior to create the kind of contrast that will draw attention to areas where her husband’s integrity is lacking. But, if you're more afraid of your husband than God, I want to challenge you to recognize that you're fearing the wrong one!
If you are afraid to stand up to your husband because he may leave you, prepare yourself for inner and outer struggle. As frightening as it may seem, place your husband on the altar of sacrifice. (NO!! I don’t mean kill him. I mean turn your concerns over to the Lord.) Ask the Lord to grant you the courage to stand firm in your convictions. This does not mean that you have to be obstinate. It simply means that you will not be unwise and succumb to intimidating tactics. Choose instead to trust God with the outcome.
Heretofore you may have fumed over how much you are expected to “be a saint” while your mate stubbornly acts like he ain’t. The unmet yearnings in your soul may cause you to wonder, “When is it going to be my turn!” Pain and loss also shout their cries for relief, at any cost. But, don’t let any of those things deter you. Don’t back down. Don’t give in. Stand firm in the conviction of your faith in God. After you have done all you know to do in your standing, continue, despite how bad things look, to stand in the righteousness of your faith in Christ. Understand that you are not to act like a virtuous woman. You need to be a virtuous woman.
Next post, Will the REAL Virtuous Woman Please Stand Up!
Serving You with God's love and mine,
Christina Dixon
Author of How to Respect an Irresponsible Man!
Copyright © 2001, 2004 Christina Dixon. All rights reserved worldwide. Excerpt from How to Respect an Irresponsible Man. Used by permission.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Irresponsibility Epidemic - Part 2
I know that respecting an irresponsible person is the exact opposite of what we are familiar with, but Colossians 4:6 challenges us to let our conversation always be full of grace and seasoned with salt. Since grace is favor that we receive even though we don’t deserve it, this scripture implies that how we treat others is not to be based on what we feel they deserve; especially since all of us have come short of God’s glory. This means that the only thing any of us deserves is death, hell, and the grave.
Too often we feel comfortable devaluing others because of their irresponsible behavior. Just like a $100 bill does not decrease in value because it has been handled by people with dirty hands and then stepped on, likewise the value of irresponsible people before God is not lessened because of their irresponsibility. And since we know that salt contains properties that preserve, enhance, and melt we are challenged by this scriptural instruction to make certain that our conversation and behavior does all it can to preserve the relationship without the ungodly tools of manipulation and pacification, enhance the relationship by choosing to only speak those things that edify (see Ephesians 4:29), all the while warming their hearts by the consistent expression of the Fruit of the Spirit; especially gentleness and kindness. Doing these things will cause us to increase in maturity as we walk with God. But don't forget, asking our Heavenly Father to empower us to embrace these truths as we obey His Word - is a must.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Irresponsbility Epidemic
Irresponsibility has gotten ridiculous and grown to epidemic proportions. The latest news regarding Senator John Edwards and my own mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, who just keeps making one irresponsible choice after another, are testaments to this disheartening reality. Since I wrote How to Respect an Irresponsible Man,
I have had others ask me, "How in the world can anyone respect an irresponsible man? Why would anyone want to?"
Contrary to popular belief, respect does NOT have to be earned. Because of my faith as a Christian, I believe I (and my fellow Christians) must remember that mankind is created in the image of God. When we cannot find behavior worthy of respect in our politicians, mates, children, co-workers, employers, etc., we must be respectful based on the reality that of all the life forms God created, mankind is the only one in which God chose to imbed His image. This alone makes ALL humanity worthy of respect.
For the next four weeks, I'm going to talk about irresponsibility and how respecting irresponsible people is the best response we can have. Chime in and let me know your thoughts.
I have had others ask me, "How in the world can anyone respect an irresponsible man? Why would anyone want to?"
Contrary to popular belief, respect does NOT have to be earned. Because of my faith as a Christian, I believe I (and my fellow Christians) must remember that mankind is created in the image of God. When we cannot find behavior worthy of respect in our politicians, mates, children, co-workers, employers, etc., we must be respectful based on the reality that of all the life forms God created, mankind is the only one in which God chose to imbed His image. This alone makes ALL humanity worthy of respect.
For the next four weeks, I'm going to talk about irresponsibility and how respecting irresponsible people is the best response we can have. Chime in and let me know your thoughts.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
When Desire Rises Up
As we sat around the table, multiple conversations going at once, I couldn't help but hear a couple of the ladies talking about the decisions they made to eliminate red meat and pork from their diets. When the conversation came to me my personal truth came out.
"When it comes to that topic, I only know two things. 1) When I smell bacon fryin' desire rises up! 2) When I smell steak grillin' desire rises up!" The room bursted into laughter as various ones chimed in that they could identify with me. I must confess that at the time I was simply being honest.
But since then, the Holy Spirit has challenged me to examine how often I allow my desires to dictate my choices.
As I examine the implications of allowing desire to simply rise up, I am challenged to accept that there are times when unchecked desire is no laughing matter. How do you handle unchecked desire? Share your thoughts.
"When it comes to that topic, I only know two things. 1) When I smell bacon fryin' desire rises up! 2) When I smell steak grillin' desire rises up!" The room bursted into laughter as various ones chimed in that they could identify with me. I must confess that at the time I was simply being honest.
But since then, the Holy Spirit has challenged me to examine how often I allow my desires to dictate my choices.
As I examine the implications of allowing desire to simply rise up, I am challenged to accept that there are times when unchecked desire is no laughing matter. How do you handle unchecked desire? Share your thoughts.
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